Technology to the rescue!  With the use of easy and inexpensive texhnology, family members all over the country can be connected to everything that’s happening.  Use a camera phone to record a recital and post it on YouTube for everyone to see.  Take pictures of graduation and email them straight from the event to everyones email.  Create a Facebook page for your new baby and everyone can see the new bundle of joy.

One of the best ways to stay in touch is with video.  At Silver Care we make videos of our clients with IMovie and share them with the tap of a button.  Our clients would be delighted to get a video of the events that they miss out on.  It makes them feel like they haven’t been forgotten and that they are still part of the family.

Just because you’re a caregiver it doesn’t mean you can’t take time for yourself. In fact, taking a break can improve your outlook, your health and your attitude. Silver Care offers two hours of care that we call Helping Hand…and thats just what it is. We can come in and take over for you so you can go to Zumba class, or have lunch with a friend, or get your hair done. You need some time for yourself so that you can come back refreshed.
This article from AARP aggrees with us!

Taking care of an older or ill family member can be enormously rewarding — but it can be physically and emotionally draining as well. That’s why it’s important for caregivers to seek occasional respite from their responsibilities. Whether it’s for a few hours a week to run errands or a few weeks a year to take a much-needed vacation, respite care offers you the chance reduce stress, restore energy and keep your life in balance.

See also: 10 ways to deal with caregiver stress.

Some things to remember when deciding on respite care:

1. Involve your loved one. When planning for time off from your caregiving duties, make sure to keep your loved one in the loop. Get their input in deciding how much time you will be away — and who will fill in for you when you’re gone. Make sure to tell them that they will benefit from you being more relaxed and refreshed. And assure them that they will also reap rewards from socializing with other people.

Related
•Develop a Respite Plan. Read
•How to Prepare a Home Care Agreement with a Family Member. Read
•Your Caregiving Questions — Answered. Read
2. Assess your needs. Make a list of what care will be needed in your absence. Also decide if the respite care provider will need any special skills or training to be able to stay with your parent. If so, understand that your options for respite caregivers may be more limited.

3. Stay organized. Use a calendar to assist you with helpers or check out online tools such as Lotsa Helping Hands or CarePages to keep track of appointments and send requests to friends and family. Don’t forget to include time for yourself and note it on the calendar.

Ask anyone about their teenage years, and they have a unique story to tell. Some emerge from adolescence with nostalgia and longing — those wild parties, first kisses, experimentation and freedom. Some recall painful angst, moodiness, awkwardness and deep loneliness — a time they would rather forget. But, as we move into adulthood and beyond, we find ourselves confronting a challenge that faces us all: aging. And as we do, the playing field levels.

When midlife realities first strike, our initial reactions to them vary. Some minimize the impact of first wrinkles and gray hair — “who me, old?” Others panic and become paralyzed –”I can’t be getting old!” Some begin radical efforts to defy it all, erasing any signs of aging — “I will not let this happen!” While others talk of embracing it — “Gee, it’s a great time for renewal and reinvention!” Regardless of our initial reactions to the ‘uh oh’ moment, we ultimately pass through it saying farewell to our youth, shifting our expectations and moving on. That is where it gets interesting.

Based on experiences of different groups as they age, it appears that those who grew up with fond adolescent memories — the queen bees, quarterbacks and class presidents — often report greater struggle with the aging process. For some of these men and women, attempts to maintain a youthful self-image, or difficulties in letting it go, make them feel less confident as they move forward. Having invested their self-esteem in youth, beauty and strength, results in a harder time as they try to hold on. They know on some level that ‘anti-aging’ is not possible, yet they they feel compelled to keep at it. It leads to more anxiety, self-preoccupation and discomfort. This group more often becomes depressed, suffers eating disorders and abuses alcohol and prescription drugs by middle age.

Likewise, the opposite is also true. People whose self-esteem was never based on these youth-oriented traits seem to fare better. Having developed identities rooted in a wider, more varied set of characteristics — some of which may even improve with age — they view getting older as less frightening.

The other day, a 55-year-old female patient said to me:

“It’s strange that I had to get to my 50s, when everyone is looking older, to realize that in some ways I was lucky that I never relied on my looks for much. I have less to lose and possibly more to gain.”
A similar sentiment came from a man who responded to a blog post I wrote about midlife:

“My wife and I, both kind of nerdy growing up, recently went to our 40th high school reunion. Our quarterback had lost his swagger. A couple of the cheerleaders had aged poorly — one had a weird facelift, another had become obese. In a funny way, we left feeling relieved, maybe even a bit gratified.”
Sounds a bit like ‘Revenge of the Nerds,’ but a reality worth understanding. The point is, entering and passing through midlife has clear benefits for some people and disadvantages for others. Viewed from this perspective, we may all learn to enjoy the former and help those struggling with the latter.

In a previous post, I described 8 ways that life can improve with age. The last was one related to leveling the playing field. I wrote:

“8) Looking Our Best, Not Our Youngest: Facing loss is part of healthy aging. As we pass through midlife, many of us realize we can gradually let go of the pressures to ‘anti-age.’ These efforts begin to feel futile, even a bit foolish, and shift toward looking our best, rather than looking younger. While we still care about our appearance, we learn to place more emphasis on other aspects of our identities to fuel our self-esteem. We realize that true beauty — the kind that is ageless, dynamic and always evolving — can be enjoyed more if we rely in our own internal standards rather than those ‘ideal’ ones set by others. If we gradually accept that nature will takes it course, bringing changes that are inescapable, many of us begin to adjust expectations.”
This advantage as we age is more easily enjoyed by those whose youth-oriented traits played a smaller role in their lives. The awkward adolescent is forced to develop internal standards, since those set by our culture are just not available to them. As fewer external reinforcements come to us all over time, their adjustment is more organic and less painful. The result? Distinctions that once separated the “in” from the “out” crowd become less important, and the latter group benefits.

Have you been to a 30th high school, college or camp reunion yet? Sure, we all check each other out, but notice how almost everyone is now focused more on life style issues — like health, family, careers, children and grandchildren – regardless of who was popular in the past. The old playing fields where we once competed are long gone.

While I was recently delivering a speech on this topic, one audience member raised her hand to say:

“I used to envy the girls with huge breasts, but as they got older, these were the very women whose breasts sagged. And the ones with thick long hair, well now it just doesn’t look all that different from mine. Even those girls with long lashes, well they are now gray, so now without mascara or Latisse or whatever, we’re all in the same boat. There’s something comforting about the idea that they finally have to work at looking good like I did all my life.”
Another audience member chimed in, this time a guy, who said:

“I am not tall, never have been, so I worked to look muscular to make up for that. Now, at 65, I’m used to working out and I look at some of my buddies who took it all for granted. They are having a tough time being out of shape. They are the ones getting hurt trying to go out to play softball, as if they’re in the 20s. They’re the ones in rehab and I’m feeling great.”
The most reliable source of well being for aging men and women is self-confidence. As we move through midlife and beyond, that confidence is continually challenged by the inevitable changes that come with age, regardless of our past or current circumstances. With each new challenge, we tend to end up on that same field — letting go of what once was, learning acceptance of what is to come and making the best of the time that is left.

Do you feel the playing field levels as we age?

****
Vivian Diller, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She serves as a media expert on various psychological topics and as a consultant to companies promoting health, beauty and cosmetic products. Her book, “Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change” (2010), edited by Michele Willens, is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances.

On May 12th we will be running our first 5K to benefit brain tumor research. Come join us!

If you are new to running, we will be following the . Training starts Monday March 12 in order to be ready for the race on May 12th. We’ll be posting our progress here.

Not up for running? You can walk it. Plenty of our team will be walking too.

Do something good for your mind, body and soul!

Many women suffer with incontinence that is brought on by pregnancy and childbirth. When a woman is pregnant the stress of the developing fetus on the bladder can cause damage to both the bladder and the surrounding muscles. Unfortunately, this type of incontinence (known as stress incontinence), can show up many years later when a woman is experiencing leakage when any additional stress is put on her bladder. This can include but is not limited to: laughing, coughing, sneezing or any additional physical exertion.

The good news is that there is a wide variety of incontinence products for women. Women who are experiencing incontinence symptoms can find many different types of incontinence products that can help them manage their symptoms. These urinary incontinence products range from incontinence undergarments that protect the wearer to incontinence bed pads that can be used to protect beds and furniture from incontinence accidents.

Women who are looking for incontinence products need to understand that there is a variety of styles ranging from incontinence underwear that can be used with or without incontinence pads to adult diapers that can be used alone. Keep in mind that it may take some trial and error and using several different incontinence products before you find the right combination for your needs.

Men often experience incontinence later in life as a result of having an enlargement of their prostate. When this happens the prostate will encircle the urethra and create a feeling of pressure that makes urinary control difficult. Many men find that making changes in their lifestyle like controlling what they eat or drink or even scheduling bathroom time can help to reduce the symptoms.

There are also incontinence products for men that meet their unique needs. Men who are experiencing incontinence can find what they need on many different online sites that sell incontinence supplies. Whether a man chooses to use a guard or wear incontinence underwear will depend on the severity of the incontinence symptoms.

As mentioned above there are many causes of incontinence that can affect either gender. These include but are not limited to being overweight (obesity), smoking, unmanageable diabetes, damage to the urinary system, and many other reasons. It is important to understand that most often incontinence is a symptom of another problem which means that it is crucial to consult your doctor to obtain the right diagnosis and treatment recommendation.

It is important to know that no matter if you are male or female or the severity of your incontinence there is a wide range of adult incontinence products that are available to help you manage the problem. Depending on the severity of your incontinence you can choose from adult diapers or regular incontinence underwear that can provide protection for both men and women. These incontinence products for men and incontinence products for women can be found on many different sites where urinary incontinence products are sold.

About the Author:
Dianna Malkowski is a Board Certified Physician Assistant and Mayo Clinic trained nutritionist specializing in diabetes, cancer, wound healing, therapeutic diets and nutrition support. Also good at guiding right Incontinence products.
Visit the Care Giver Partnership for more info on Adult diapers.

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